Messing With Tales of Symphonia
by Its upside down
Summary: Wrap your mind around the insanity that is Messing With Tales of Symphonia. A series of short stories about insane things happening in Symphonia that Don't quite add up.
1. Chapter 1

**Be prepared for this. It is plain and simply an F'ed up version of Tales of symphonia meant to be humorous. Enjoy!**

**Stairs of Martel Temple:**

Colette, Lloyd, and Genis dashed up the sandy, stone steps that led to Martel Temple, and were abruptly stopped by the sight of a nearly dead priest, "Pastor!" Colette yelled worriedly. She knelt down beside the pastor and the lent the gentle warmth of her hand to his. In comparison, the pastor's hand was very chilling. Colette brushed aside some hair from her cheek, and she then pressed her cheek against the pastor's chest. A joyful grin spread across Colette's face, "He's alive!"

"How about now?" Lloyd asked as he aggressively plunged his blade into the chest of the dying old man.

"Lloyd! How could you do that?" Genis asked, his voice stricken by horror.

"He looked funny." Lloyd replied.

Colette nodded, "I agree...shall we move on?" They all took turns kicking the dead old man for a few minutes and then continued to run up the stairs.

When they came to the top of the steps, they saw three men dressed in firemen costumes. The tallest and broadest of the three, named Botta, spoke with a commanding tone, "Where is the chosen?" His demand was directed towards an old women who could only walk with assistance of wooden cane. She backed away slowly, obviously refusing to answer.

When she saw Lloyd, Colette, and Genis come into view she tried to warn to them, "Run, Colette!"

Colette looked confused, "Why?" Colette's face suddenly lit up like a light bulb, "Do you want to play tag?"

Botta sighed,"Fine...but only for a little while." So Botta and his firemen, Lloyd, Phaidra, Colette, and Genis all began to play tag. They played for about twenty minutes when they suddenly interrupted by a man clad in purple, named Kratos.

He spoke with calm, cool composure, "Get out of the way..." He was looking at Lloyd as he said this and Lloyd obediently stepped aside. Suddenly the man began sprinting towards everyone and rounding them up like cattle. He backed them into a corner and tagged them.

Genis was very surprised, "Wow. This guy is incredibly good at playing tag."

Lloyd tried to make the man's notable tag skills seem to accompany that of novice, "Well... I suppose so." A bit of sarcasm also seemed present in Lloyd's voice.

"Enough of this!" Yelled Botta, "It's time to kill the chosen!" Botta and his firemen nodded and sprinted towards Genis.

"W-wait I'm not the chosen!" Genis said defensively, and then pointed towards Phaidra. "She is!"

Botta directed his attention towards Phaidra. "Time to die!"

Phaidra then pulled out a light-saber and dashed towards Botta. Then, in all the time that existed in a second, she killed botta and his firemen.

Kratos then spoke, "I see...so then this old woman is the next chosen."

"That's right." Said Lloyd. Then Kratos walked towards Lloyd and rested his hand upon his shoulder.

"Lloyd, you and have known each other for long time, and during that time I've kept secret from you."

"I just met you though."

"That may be true...but I feel I should tell you this anyways."

Lloyd stared up at Kratos, "What?"

"I'm your father...and Noishe is your mother."

"I guess that would explain why the bottom half of my body is similiar to that of a horse." Lloyd indeed had a human's upper body, and then the lower body of a horse type figure.

**Well that is Chapter 1...like I said it has Tales of Symphonia Characters but truly messed up storyline. If none of this was funny let me know and all stop writing but if it is funny...then I will continue to update Messing with Tales of symphonia!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Namco or Star wars.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I decided that I'm not going to follow the story-line of previous chapters and that every chapter is just entirely new. Anyways, this chapter takes place at Kvar's ranch. Enjoy!**

The six companions dashed through the Asgard ranch, desperately trying to find the exit. They were stopped, dead in their tracks, at a disturbing sight. People were being turned into exspheres...

"That looks like fun!" exclaimed Colette joyfully. Colette then stepped inside one of the small chambers that allowed for the exsphere transformation process. Lloyd then threw Colette onto the conveyer belt, and watched as her chamber progressed along. When she had been transformed into an exsphere, Lloyd picked her up off the conveyer belt.

"What now?" Genis inquired, as he took the exsphere from Lloyd.

Just then Kvar and some of his firemen came into view. They cornered the six companions. "Lloyd give me back your exsphere!"

"No!" Lloyd began, raising his voice, "This is a memento of my moms...whom you firemen hosed!"

Kvar laughed menacingly, "That's because your mother was a filthy, inferior being."

Kratos nodded agreeingly. "Yes. Anna's very existence was taint upon the land of Sylvarant." Kratos' eyes began to take on the shade of fury red, "I hated that bitch!"

Lloyd pumped his fist in the air. "I hated her too!" Lloyd and Kratos high fived, and then danced around like baboons.

**7 hours later...**

"Well...if you're done with that outburst...then it is time to die!" Kvar exclaimed. The firemen unsheathed their hoses and pointed them threateningly at the six companions.

Sheena pulled out a card, "Not if I can help it!" She took a moment to look down at the small piece of paper, "I'm going to use the last one, Grandpa..." Sheena dropped the card on the ground, and then a massive toilet appeared. "Everyone into the toilet!" The six companions jumped into the toilet obediently, and then Sheena flushed the toilet.

Kratos glared at her menacingly, "I wasn't finished peeing!" Kratos then plunged his sword into sheena's heart, and kicked her lifeless body off the side of the toilet. "Stay here and rot with the firemen!" Kratos jumped into the toilet and left Sheena...

**HAHA. The cruelty of Kratos...**

**Personal thanks goes out to the reviewers.**


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